Days 14-18: It's the Little Things

Days 14-18 of the Giving Challenge have been spent doing the little things for people. The things that don't seem to make a difference but really do. A polite "thank you" when someone gets the door, buying my dad a crossword puzzle book just because I know he enjoys them, saying "happy new year" to complete strangers at the post office, and spending time with a friend to hear his/her thoughts and feelings about life. But the simplest thing I've done during this whole challenge has been to text the word "Haiti" to 90999 to make my $10 donation for the earthquake victims. Little things do matter! So the next time you're giving and wondering if it makes a difference, know that yes, it does...to someone, somewhere! Keep giving!

Days 11-13: Connecting w/other Goddesses

The last couple of days have been a struggle for me as I'm dealing with a shift in my feminine self. What I have found though is that when I reached out to my other female friends who have experienced "The Change", there was an incredible sigh of relief coming from them. I received emails thanking me for sharing with them my own struggles because they felt a sense of connection with me. There were comments like, "I thought I was the only one feeling crazy", or "I'm having trouble sleeping, too." And then there's the exchange of information on holistic, natural interventions and how to express feelings in healthy ways. We are not alone in this transition. It's a wonderful time filled with sadness, happiness, excitement, grief, and connection to other women. By connecting on deeper levels, we can find the gifts of validation, understanding, and meaning, knowing there is something greater at work than ourselves.

Days 9 & 10: Pets

Pets are a wonderful addition to a family and mine are no exception. So as part of days 9 and 10 of the Giving Challenge, I decided to give them massages! My boy seemed to really enjoy having his head rubbed while my girl liked her shoulders massaged. What I found, however, was how relaxing it was for me. It allowed me to just be in the moment with them. My mind wasn't racing with the usual stressful thoughts of money and family. Instead, I just sat there with each one of them, completely focused on the moment. We were all very peaceful. And that was nice.

Days 7 & 8: Forgiveness

"Even monkeys fall out of trees" is my favorite saying when it comes to forgiveness. Days 7 & 8 of the Giving Challenge brought me the opportunity to give myself the gift of forgiveness. Just like the monkey who occasionally falls out of a tree, I have stumbled along my life's journey. Particularly in regards to personal relationships. Recently, someone I cared about hurt me and this triggered childhood wounds. In the beginning of feeling hurt, I was able to express my feelings openly and honestly. And when they weren't heard, I found myself becoming angry and resentful towards this person. In typical inner child fashion, I lashed out with my words, making a snide comment and telling this person how rude he was being. This, of course, triggered him and an argument ensued. After some TLC from loved ones, and working out my feelings, I was able to forgive myself. I am only human. I have hurts, triggers, and wounds like anyone else. I make mistakes and poor choices at times. But rather than beating up on myself, focusing on the negative, I decided to validate and understand my behavior and feelings. My little inner child needed nurturing from me, not criticism. This in turn gave me the ability to forgive the other person. And while I will never see him again, I feel good knowing that I hold no ill will towards him or me. We are both little cheeky monkeys who fell out of our respective trees.

Day 6: Gotcha!

My friend, Beau, rarely lets me take care of him but he's always so good at taking care of me. I had a rough 2009 and Beau has always been available to listen to me, validate my feelings, and offer words of encouragement. And if I ask for a hug, he welcomes me with open arms. I tell him thank you often and have always wanted to do more for him but he says I do enough. Not sure what I've done exactly to return the favor but he's fine with our friendship. I usually say "ok" but this time, as I've been plotting carefully with the Giving Challenge, I wanted to surprise him by buying his lunch today. When I asked if he would allow me to do that for him, he said only if I had a good reason. The reason, "Because you've always been so good at taking care of me." But I had an ulterior motive...there's nothing that gives me greater pleasure than doing something nice for a nice someone! Ha, ha! I gotcha!

Days 4 & 5: Perplexed

I'm already stuck! I'm not even a week into the Giving Challenge and I'm perplexed as to how to give. It's not that I struggle with giving. Actually, giving comes quite naturally to me. The challenge has been in doing it mindfully. To think about who, what, where, when, and how. Maybe I'm over-thinking it? I have been known to be an over-achiever, to analyze things over and over. I thought about when I asked the grocery clerk yesterday how he was doing while I made eye contact with him. Or today, when I was polite to someone who has hurt me. I wondered, "Could I count those times? Does it make a difference that I wasn't mindful under these circumstances?" Maybe I need to give myself a little leeway. It's not the goal so much as the journey. The journey of discovering how wonderful it can be to give, learning about myself in the process. Maybe this exercise gave to me again? Maybe it gave me the gift of patience, acceptance, or forgiveness. Maybe I should just let go and enjoy the journey!

Days 2 & 3 of Giving Challenge: Excitement

Ever get so excited about giving a gift that you specifically picked out for someone? Well, that's how I felt for days 2 & 3 of the Giving Challenge! It didn't start out that way, however. On the second day, I found myself racking my brain, thinking carefully what to do, who to give to, and how to give. I wanted to make sure the gift was thoughtful and specific to my recipient. When I finally decided on the details of said gift, I could feel the excitement growing as if it was Christmas Day. I imagined watching in anticipation the look on my friend's face when she would "open" her gift. A simple Thank You text. It's amazing how something that appears so small and insignificant could make me feel so much enthusiasm. I also felt a sense of mystery, like keeping an extravagant secret. Today, this third day, I felt like I was on a covert mission as I surprised my mom with washing her dishes and throwing in her last load of laundry. She didn't even notice the dishes had been washed which made me feel even more delighted! Excitement, enthusiasm, and delight weren't the only gifts I had already received as a result from participating in this challenging...I found myself being offered gifts from others! My website designer knocked off $20 off my monthly bill, a friend treated me to brunch, and my mom gave me a new blouse. Coincidence? I think not! *wink, wink*