Days 9 & 10: Pets

Pets are a wonderful addition to a family and mine are no exception. So as part of days 9 and 10 of the Giving Challenge, I decided to give them massages! My boy seemed to really enjoy having his head rubbed while my girl liked her shoulders massaged. What I found, however, was how relaxing it was for me. It allowed me to just be in the moment with them. My mind wasn't racing with the usual stressful thoughts of money and family. Instead, I just sat there with each one of them, completely focused on the moment. We were all very peaceful. And that was nice.

One Wild Ride Through Life

This is my dad. Or as I like to call him, Pop Pop. Pop Pop and the rest of us have had one wild ride through life recently thanks to him needing a quintuple bypass and a heart valve replacement. It started in late June when I received a call, while on vacation, from my brother that Pop Pop was in the ER. Damn! I was 2.5 hours away! How could I get there fast enough? And how could I manage the anxiety I was feeling at 60 mph? Thoughts of worry raced through my mind. I held my breath, waiting to exhale. I decided calling a friend might be an option. (Thank goodness for modern technology.) I asked my friend to just talk with me. About anything! I just needed to know that I wasn't alone and that I wouldn't drive like a maniac. I arrived safely to the hospital where Pop Pop was just admitted. He spent 4 days in the hospital. But that was not the end of it.

"Florence, we need you to take your dad to UCDMC to have some tests run," his cardiologist told me. He would need an echocardiogram and an angiogram. And so we made our trek, at 5 am, to UCDMC about 2 weeks later. I was annoyed for having to wake up early while feeling stressed and worried over Pop Pop's health and my finances. (Paid days off are not in the self-employed's benefit package.) We arrived at UCDMC around 6:30 am and Pop Pop was prepped for his first procedure. I remember Mom and I walking alongside the gurney as they wheeled him in. Worry overcame me yet again. I held my breath, waiting to exhale. I was able to breath when the cardiologist informed us the procedure was a success and they needed to prep him for his angiogram. Lots of waiting, lots of pacing. Finally, they took him in. This time we had to wait in the waiting area. Worry overcame me. I held my breath, waiting to exhale. Two hours later, the cardiologist met with us and said, "He's going to need surgery." And so began all of the consults, the going back-and-forth to UCDMC, the planning of dog-sitting, house-sitting, rearranging clients, researching FMLA, etc, etc. And then the big day arrived.

July 16th. 5:30 am. Admitted and prepped. 6:30 am. Wheeled off into surgery. I kissed Pop Pop good-bye and immediately burst out into tears. My brother took me in his arms as I sobbed. And then, worry overcame me. I held my breath, waiting to exhale. Seven hours later, the surgeon came out to tell us it was a success. Whew! But that wasn't the end. Five days in ICU, filled with waiting-to-exhale moments, driving back and forth to UCDMC, calling relatives and friends about Pop Pop's progress. Our support system was incredible, though. Relatives and friends bringing us food, inviting us over, hugging us, texting, calling, emailing just to ask how we were. Letting us know we were not alone. And then finally, Pop Pop was transferred to the Cardiac Care Unit. But wait! One more complication. Worry overcame me. I held my breath, waiting to exhale. Relatives rushed to the hospital just to take visiting shifts since I was so tired from driving, worrying, talking with medical staff, etc.

But then the day of discharge finally came. And there was still worry. Worry now about Pop Pop's recovery. That first night home, he was like a newborn baby, waking up every 2 hours needing something. Worry, no sleep, I held my breath, waiting to exhale.

It's now been a month and Pop Pop is doing quite well. He begins cardiac rehab soon and continues to receive excellent health care from home health nurses and his cardiologist. He still has about another 2-3 months of recovery but he is doing great!

I finally had a chance to exhale the other day. And when I did, the flood gates opened. I cried. Cried from being tired, from being worried, from enjoying the exhilaration of the journey. And from being able to take care of my Pop Pop in a way I didn't know I was capable. And in this moment, I am no longer filled with worry. I am breathing. I have exhaled.

The Kindess of Others

"You're powerful when you're real," my favorite grad school professor used to say to get his counseling students to share feelings and be vulnerable. Vulnerability is NOT a weakness. It's a powerful experience. Every time I open myself up and share with others my experience of sadness, loss, grief, pain, or stress, I am amazed at the compassion and outpouring of support I receive.

I am currently experiencing a high level of stress and decided to be vulnerable with other family members, friends, and even fans of my Facebook business page. (Yes, that's me in the picture...I know not flattering at all. I was going for vulnerability.) Sometimes you just never know where your support is going to come from. Sources you would've never dreamed. People I haven't seen in 25+ years are offering up places to stay so I can be closer to my family, neighbors are bringing me fresh vegetables and fruit from their gardens or offering to dog-sit, colleagues are offering to be contacts for my clients while I'm away from work, and family and friends are utilizing their strengths to care for me and my family, checking in on us with phone calls and emails. The other day I received a nice friendship card from a college roommate that made me smile. I even have Facebook friends who I've never met before sending me virtual hugs and asking about my family. I tear up just thinking about how many people care.

So what are the keys to being so blessed? Courage! It takes guts to be vulnerable to another, to ask for what we need/want. And, to know that we'll be ok even if that person uses our vulnerability against us. Trust in one's self! I always chuckle to myself when someone says, "I thought I could trust him/her!" When it concerns others, trust they will be who they are. The more important person to trust is YOU! Do you trust yourself to handle life's crazy ups-n-downs? Remain open! If you really need a hug or for someone to run an errand, and they offer, please don't decline that gift! I know you might think, "I don't want to put her/him out." Or "It's no big deal." But it is! I can still hear my ex-co-worker's voice when I politely declined her offer to run an errand for me, "Don't rob me of my blessings!" She then reminded me of the importance of karma. And then sometimes, people we would've never expected to give are helping us out. Strangers even! Two years ago, I was experiencing a rough time and I found solace in the chat room of Hug Nation. Be open to the gifts however they arrive! And finally, let go of expecations! Others give in all sorts of ways, separate from what we think they should. ;) Try not to get mad. I have a friend who has yet to ask how my family is during these stressful times. Not sure why. But she always returns my calls and emails. I try not to get too frustrated with her even though I'd like her to ask. I just try to appreciate the fact that she continues to stay connected with me during this time.

If you are experiencing a rough time in your life, I encourage you to reach out and risk vulnerability. Otherwise, you might never know just how powerful you really are!

Counseling Awareness Month TV Appearance

April was Counseling Awareness Month and as a way to promote awareness of my profession, I partnered with KHSL's local morning TV program, Wake Up! My first appearance was April 10, 2009 and the topic was Stress & The Economy. I remember arriving at 6 am sharp and following producer, Sarah, into the studio. I was nervous not having done live TV before. Megan McDonald, the co-anchor, was at the news desk waiting for her cue. She smiled and said, "Good morning", and suddenly I was at ease. It's the same feeling I hope I'm able to give my clients when they arrive at my office for the very first time. I shared this with Megan and thanked her for her warmth. And then 30 minutes later, Rob Blair, the other co-anchor, who would be interviewing me, was adjusting my mic so it could not be seen. A mic check was done and soon after, the interview began. How quickly it all went! It's all a blur now. But I think the important thing I will take with me is the importance of making one feel comfortable in my office because my clients could be just as nervous as I was that Friday morning.

I encourage to listen to this audio link if you would like info on How to Manage Stress.

Learning to Blog

I'm a people person not a computer person! In my field, technology is not something we're trained to do. We're trained to care for people's souls, encourage clients to explore their feelings and help them develop new ways to cope to stressors in their lives. If you'd like to a list of areas I support clients, please click here.