Therapy Chick to the Rescue!

Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand.  A magic wand would allow me to heal others without watching them go through those rough patches of heartache, disappointment, confusion, frustration, loss, and pain.  I wonder, though, is that for their sake or for mine.  How comfortable am I sitting with someone in their time of need?  As a psychotherapist, one would think I'm quite comfortable.  I'm probably more comfortable than the average person.  But when one of my strengths is the ability to provide empathy, I have to make sure to keep my emotional boundaries intact.  Otherwise, I'm feeling someone else's pain so deeply that I become sad and confused.  And then I feel helpless and powerless.  I have difficulty with these feelings.  I pride myself on being a strong, supportive woman and friend.  Feelings of helplessness and powerlessness bring to mind a sense of weakness and an inability to provide comfort to those in need.  I know this is not true, however.  I also know that an understanding word, a listening ear, and even a silent presence can bring comfort and hope to someone in need.  It just never seems enough, though.  I don't feel like I'm enough in those moments.  And then I have to remember to surrender and trust the process of life, quietly knowing that the most loving thing I can do is allow my loved one to experience his/her healing journey as intended.  And to let them know, I'm here, waving that magic wand just in case. 

Life Unexpected

Life has an interesting way of unfolding.  Just when I think I'm headed one way, life takes me on an unexpected path.  It's not always easy for me to let go and trust that things will work out for the best.  But things usually work out even better than I expect once I let go of expectations.  Easier said than done of course!  Recently, I had my heart broken.  A potential relationship didn't turn out the way I hoped.  But maybe there are reasons why.  Maybe life knew something I didn't about this man or about the timing of it all.  Maybe life knew what was in my best interests.  I'm still having trouble letting go completely.  Sometimes, I still find myself wishing things had worked out with this man.  He's a good guy.  I have nothing negative to say about him.  I don't know why life led me down a different path.  What I do know is that as soon as I said good-bye to this man, a wonderful unexpected surprise happened!  An acquaintance reached out to me in his time of need.  And now I have a new friend.  Someone who offers support and understanding regarding my sadness and disappointment.  Someone who encourages me to get back out there and not settle.  Someone who listens to me complain and cry while making it safe for me to express hopes and dreams without fear of judgment.  I hope I offer him the same gifts he offers me.  I'm so glad life took me down a different path.  A path of healing.  A path of connecting with someone.  A path of friendship.  Thank you life for my new friend.  And thanks for leading me towards the letting go process, trusting all will be well and I'll be ok.

Days 11-13: Connecting w/other Goddesses

The last couple of days have been a struggle for me as I'm dealing with a shift in my feminine self. What I have found though is that when I reached out to my other female friends who have experienced "The Change", there was an incredible sigh of relief coming from them. I received emails thanking me for sharing with them my own struggles because they felt a sense of connection with me. There were comments like, "I thought I was the only one feeling crazy", or "I'm having trouble sleeping, too." And then there's the exchange of information on holistic, natural interventions and how to express feelings in healthy ways. We are not alone in this transition. It's a wonderful time filled with sadness, happiness, excitement, grief, and connection to other women. By connecting on deeper levels, we can find the gifts of validation, understanding, and meaning, knowing there is something greater at work than ourselves.

Giving Challenge-Day One: Relieving Calm

Whenever I need to find peace and calm, I go to the ocean. There's something about the sound of the waves crashing against the shore that bring a sense of oneness for me. This was the same feeling I experienced when I took my first risk into the Giving Challenge. At first, I was perplexed, trying to figure out what to do. I'm someone who tries to do kind things for others but never before have I been so mindful of the choice to give. It was a little confusing actually. So I perused the suggestion list on the 29-Day Giving Challenge website . Nothing really spoke to me and I sat in front of my computer wondering how to truly give. Without expectation. Just for the sheer joy of giving. Then it hit me! There was a wrong I needed to make right with a friend. The last time I spoke with her, I hadn't been very understanding or even polite for that matter. I was still dealing with past anger and resentment towards her because she wasn't being the kind of friend I thought she "should" be. I decided to email her, offering up an apology for my recent attitude as well as offering up empathy for her current stressful situation. As I wrote the email, I could feel a heaviness lifting off of me. I moved from the judgment in my mind to the love in my heart. There was a sense of excitement as I hoped this email would provide the support she originally needed from me. I'm not sure if she'll accept the gift the way it was intended but I know my attitude shifted from resentment and frustration with our friendship to peace, calm, and relief. And I found myself incredibly grateful for her being in my life! And this was just the first day!