Celebrate Differences!

For most of my life, I have felt different. Different because I was a bi-racial child being raised in a predominately white small town. Different because I was told I wouldn't understand what a cracked radiator meant because I'm a woman. Different because I've been told I must be a socialist because I'm a political progressive. Different because I am a single, never-been-married woman in her 40's and something must be wrong with me. Different because I am someone who has chosen to be childfree and have been told I'm an ogre and going against God's will. And different because I am a Pagan and have been told I'm going to hell.

I used to hate being different. I used to hate the criticisms I would hear. I was exposed to racism and sexism at an early age. I heard derogatory terms and statements like "wetback" and "you're just a girl". And I couldn't understand it. My parents are very different people and they've been married for almost 44 years. Mom is a Mexican, progressive Democrat, who supports a woman's right to choose and marriage equality. Dad is a white, registered Republican who believes in traditional family values. They never fought over who was right or wrong in these cases. They encouraged us to be free thinkers. Yet, the world around me was telling me I didn't fit in. That I was different. And because I was different, I was not ok or not good enough.

I see this everyday in my practice. Adults struggling to get past feelings of being different, of feeling like they're not good enough, and, as a result feeling depressed and/or anxious. They ask me, as tears stream down their faces, "What's wrong with me? Why aren't I good enough?" From women, I hear, "I'm not pretty enough", "My body is ugly", or "I'm afraid to speak up because I'll be called a bitch." And from men, I hear, "I don't make enough money", "I'm not strong enough", or "I feel like a failure". The truth is each one of us is good enough! Sure, we all have our flaws and quirks. But truly, we are all deserving of love, peace, happiness, and respect. And it has to start from within. YOU have to know that you are good enough! YOU have to know that you are deserving of love, acceptance, and respect! And YOU have to know that because you are different, YOU are unique.

I love being different now. Of course now it's kinda cool to be Latin. But I am proud of my Mexican and European backgrounds. I am proud to be female. I'm proud that my political beliefs are aligned with my morals and values. I'm incredibly proud to be childfree and not settle to be in an unhappy relationship just to "fit in". And I'm a proud Pagan. I'm proud of all these things because they make me who I am. They are a part of me. And if you get the chance to know me, instead of perpetuating stereo-types, you'll know I'm not that different from you. I desire love, peace, happiness, and respect just like you do. And if you are someone who continues to feel different, celebrate it! Embrace it! Love it! And know that you are deserving of being loved and accepted. I challenge you to list all of your wonderful qualities and then look them over every night. You will notice a difference in your mood and how you look at yourself. And then you'll start to notice how others respond to you.

So don't be afraid to be different. Besides, didn't someone once say, "Variety is the spice of life"!


(If you are feeling depressed or anxious, please consult your doctor or mental health professional)